Isn't it Ironic?

I have been meaning to start a blog again ever since I got back from Sydney. Unfortunately, I don't feel like my life is that exciting back in the ole Midwest. We'll see what comes out of this. Credit to Amber for giving me the inspiration to get back out there in the world.

This entry was technically for October 20, but seeing as I haven't had any time until today to write it, I'm doing it now.

For those who do not know, October 20 was the four month anniversary of my daddy's death. Here are some coincidences from that day that made me want to write about it:

1. I realized that morning that I had not been to Sissy's site in awhile. I decided to check up on it and read the entries that I hadn't seen. The entry that I read was a month old, but at the end, it referenced that September 20 had been the three month anniversary. I stopped to think, realized that it was exactly a month later, and got a little freaked out. Honestly, if it wasn't for reading that blog entry, I would not have realized that it was the anniversary. In September, I realized the day after. I hope this doesn't make me a bad daughter, but I just tend to block out the 20th of every month now.

2. In my Healing, Birthing and Dying class, my professor chose this day to talk about how animals can sense death and freak out. Um, Marco anyone?! Once again, I was brought back to that memory of Father's Day, which I have also tried to block out from my memory. Watching someone die isn't really something you want to remember, even if it was your own father.

3. Last but not least, I was at work minding my own business. One of the little three/four year olds came up to me and for no reason at all asked, "Where's your daddy?" I was shocked that I just stared at her until she repeated the question. My answer, "He's not here?" That got me thinking about death and how you explain that to young children. She had no idea what I meant by it, and why would she. Was that really an appropriate response though? Sometimes I think yes because well, he's really not here. But other times I think no because I know he's around me and watching at all times. Such a fine line to walk, especially with little children.

To some, the 20th of every month is just another day. Not for me. Not anymore.