life after graduation...

well here's what i have learned in my few weeks of being a "college graduate". are you ready? what i am about to say is awe-inspiring.

1. life goes on.
2. moving into your first big girl apartment all by yourself is more difficult than you would think. ask for help.
3. do not ask for help building furniture, however. women can do ANYTHING that men can do. i pride myself in the fact that i built all of my own furniture.
4. you never realize how many little things you take for granted when you are living with your parents. some examples include ice cube trays, a can opener, trash bags, etc.
5. even though you don't see your best friends every day, if you put a little effort into the friendship, you will succeed.

i think i had more awe-inspiring things to say, but words are failing me now. maybe next time.

SMILE, WORLD. :)
(i'm trying to rub my ridiculously fabulous mood off on other people today. let me know if it worked!)

I Graduated... Now What?

On Sunday, May 1, 2011, I graduated. Or should I say "graduated"? Although I told someone last week that I won't be in college next semester, I will be in Kindergarten and it is totally different.

I cannot believe graduation is such an anti-climatic day. I was sitting through the ceremony wondering if it was all a dream and before I knew it I was walking across the stage and getting my "diploma". All I can think is... where did these four years go?

I cannot pinpoint my feelings on graduation. On one hand, I am so happy to be done. Even if I'm not completely done. On the other, I am going to miss so many wonderful people in my life. But strangely, I am not as sad as I thought I would be. Maybe it is because I have gotten so used to people coming and going in life that it is just second nature these days.

But now that the day has come and gone, I keep saying asking myself: Now what? Well, here is my agenda: Get my keys to my apartment and move in! Work the summer away while spending time with as many people as possible. Then, spending my whole fall semester in Kindergarten.

What comes after that, time will only tell.

Last Week of College

Today marked the beginning of our last full week of classes.
Next Tuesday, classes end.
EPIC.
Graduation is so close!
Excited or scared to death?
You choose.

That is all.

Not Witty Enough for a Title

It has been awhile since I have updated the Internets about my life. What can I say?

Our trip to Seattle came and went, quite quickly I might add. I loved every minute of that trip. Seattle is definitely a city that I see myself living in. I could handle the rain because I love the size of the city, the atmosphere, the people, EVERYTHING. The minute I stepped outside, I felt at home. That means something. It means I must (and WILL) move there. My latest life plan: Move to Seattle after December, work at City Hostel while attempting to find another job. Oh, and maybe go to culinary school? You may think I'm nuts, but I like options.

Ever since I have been back to school, I have been struggling though. Vacations do that to me. It takes me an extremely long time to get back into the mindset that this is my life right now. I wish I was better at just accepting what is happening at the moment instead of longing for the future. But I'm not. I long for the future. Things are changing around here very rapidly. Every day someone close to me gets a job, job interview, or accepted into grad school. And meanwhile, I am stuck in place. I think that's what is difficult for me. I "graduate" but not really. I will still be here in crappy Bloomington-Normal. I don't know where I am living yet. I don't know if I have a summer job at the moment. And I hate that. I want to tell people exciting news. I want to say I have a job interview or I got accepted to graduate school or I am engaged. (Okay, not really the last one.) But instead all I can say is... Well, that's it. I haven't figured out what to say yet.

And one more thing, I miss my Dad. Boy, do I miss him. The closer and closer it gets to Graduation Day, the harder it is for me to accept the fact that he will not be there. It will be just be Mom, Sissy, and Naz. There will forever be a hole in my graduation pictures. It's just not fair. I want him there. And yes, you can give me the bull crap about how he will be watching over me, but truth is I don't know if I believe in all of that. I don't know what I believe in when it comes to heaven, religion, God, etc. And it doesn't change the fact that I still want him there.

Life, As Of Now

Life is a series of moments with the people we love. Happy moments. Sad moments. Life-changing moments. But we ultimately have the power to choose our own moments.

Are you happy with the moments that you are choosing?

I am.

If you aren't, maybe you should do something to change your moments. A moment lasts for a second, and then it is time to make a new one. Next time, do something that will make you happy.

Just a Year Ago..

Just a year ago, I was landing in Australia for the adventure of a lifetime. Where did the time go?

This week has been difficult. One, I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off the whole week. Too busy! Two, Friday marked my anniversary of leaving. Majorly depressing.

Life was completely different a year ago. I'm not saying I want to go back to the way things were, but I miss it. I miss Sydney. I miss adventures. I miss independence. I miss my friends that I met there- Australian, international, and American.

I definitely feel that I have grown up in the last year. In some ways, I was forced to. While abroad, I started to learn more about myself and started to see what I wanted out of life.

I want to travel. I want to experience new things. More and more, I am wanting to just be free and roam around the states doing useless jobs to earn money. (I know, it is not completely realistic.) But I don't want to settle down. I used to want to get married young and have kids. I am even doubting if I want to get married right now. (Ha- that is one thing that hasn't changed... the complexities of my love life!) There is just so much to life and the world. I hate sitting idly.

If I want something to happen, I have to MAKE it happen. And this is my philosophy for the next few years. At this point, I don't know what is to come after student teaching in December, but I have lots of goals and options.

I like options.

--------

Now, why can't I find decent options in regards to MEN? Different post entirely...

Blo-No Bored Blues

I came up with this awesome description today. Feel free to steal it, but I am copy-writing it.

So what does Blo-No Bored Blues mean?

It means that I am hitting that part of the semester where nothing makes me happy. This semester has been full of fun, bars, my sisters, etc. Don't get me wrong, I have loved every minute of this month of school. But now, I am bored. This happens a lot. And by a lot I mean every two months. Yeah, we're going to go with that.

It does not help that my one year anniversary of leaving for Sydney is coming up in 6 days. Yes, it is an unhealthy obsession. But seriously, ONE YEAR AGO? How is that even possible? So add that to the massive amounts of snow that make me unhappy, and we've got Blo-No Bored Blues.

I need ADVENTURE. Bloomington does not offer me with a lot of adventures. I also work in strange ways. Instead of going out and finding adventure, I become a hermit. I stay in my room and watch unhealthy amounts of TV shows. (Okay, three seasons of Veronica Mars was because I was sick!)

I am counting down to the days that I can get out of this state (or at least city). Only one problem: I have no idea when that will be! It's a little difficult to have a countdown to something that does not exist yet. Shucks.

For now, I will have to be happy and look forward to March 12, SEATTLE! At least that is one adventure in my upcoming future. I better start planning the next one for after that... maybe someplace to visit one of my study abroad friends?

Off to look at more Australia pictures and reread old blogs. Not really. (Maybe.)